I gave my oral-English students their oral final exam this week. I wrote down about 20 topics on little slips of paper. Each student picked two at random and then chose one of those for a 2-minute impromptu speech. One topic was "the power of unity." I hoped that my students understood the strength of unity, after spending the past five months working together in groups. This had been their first experience ever in school of actually working together with others to improve themselves and their abilities. Always before they had been in competition with each other, and they never helped each other in their studies. One student, who happened to pick the unity topic, didn't talk about her group experience. Instead she explained the adage, "One Chinese is strong, but three Chinese are weak." That is, if you come across one Chinese person, he will be virtuous, kind, well intentioned and helpful; but if you get more than one together, they become divided and think only of themselves.
Since coming to China almost three years ago, I have been trying to understand the fundamental differences between our societies. I think it all leads back to this simple phrase.
Individually, the overwhelming majority of Chinese people are warm, friendly, and hospitable, at least in our experience. They often go to superhuman lengths to assist with our problems or make us comfortable. In a crowd situation, however, they often revert to the baser aspects of animal behavior. They forget that our humanity lies in our social behavior; they believe that their survival and success depend on strength and assertiveness. Bullies are a problem even in the lower grades; many fathers teach their young sons to be aggressive and take what they want. Much of it comes down to the concept of "face": expressed in naked terms, the perception of ascendancy is more important than cooperation. The golden rule is deemed expendable, a mere philosophical ideal.
Don't get me wrong, we're not trying to bash China. We don't presume to state that any one group of people is intrinsically superior or inferior to another. Rather, these particular character traits seem more obvious to us, or perhaps more accepted as normal, in China than in our home countries. Every culture has its challenges, its dragons at the door, its demons in the dark. It's not difficult to point out the faults of America, for example; everyone seems to do it. However, we live in China and take an outsider's interest in examining and explaining what we see here. Though we're not shy about offering our (non-political) observations, both positive and negative, we try to remain upbeat. In all, we believe in the future of China and in the spirit of the Chinese people.
Back to the topic... Whenever we raise the issue of unruly group behavior with our students or friends, the standard response is that there are too many people in China. This is China's big problem and the reason why kindness in a crowd seems an unaffordable luxury, they say. We reject this as simply a convenient excuse for greedy behavior. All the more reason for civility, we say. Students agree with us in principle, of course, but seldom feel inclined to change their ways for long.
As a case in point, two weeks ago I went to the hospital to have Tariqa's cast removed from her arm. We thought it was a simple task of going to the same doctor we had seen two weeks before. He had told us we needn't bother with registration or x-rays, but just to come to his office. Our waiban was busy, so we decided that we could handle it ourselves. We went back to the same office, up three flights of stairs, only to find that the same doctor was not there today. The new doctor removed the cast, but he was not willing to let us leave until the arm had been x-rayed again. As is normal, this meant we would have to visit several different offices and wait in line. We went back down the stairs to the main building, then up one flight and stood in line to pay in advance for the x-ray. When our turn came we were pointed to another line, so we lined up there. There were only four or five people in each line, but everyone was pushing to get his or her arm through the little hole and have their bill taken first. It was crazy. The poor clerks were being bombarded from all sides by people waving papers in front of their faces and shouting questions at them. I refused to be a part of it. I chose the least pushy crush and quietly lined up. As people tried to push past me, I touched them on the shoulder and said "hou bian wo (behind me)." Gradually people in my line began to line up. The people in the lines next to me noticed and some of them also began to back off and wait and ask others to wait. Only one woman persisted in pushing past after I had asked her to line up. From behind, she told me that she had a question to ask. I didn't yield, but answered that she could line up like the rest of us because we also had questions to ask. Did that stop the lady? She elbowed to the front, leaned over the person that was being served, and shoved her arm through the hole. We held our place in line and practiced our patience. When we got to the front, we were told that before we could pay, we had to go up to the x-ray area and get a slip of paper that showed the price for the x-ray. From past experience, I knew the cost was 25 yuan, but the clerk insisted that we have the price written on the form. So, we climbed two flights of stairs, waited in line amidst a wall of people again, got the proper piece of paper with the proper price, and returned downstairs to the same place as before.
The lines were actually semi-orderly this time, and we joined the end of one and proceeded as before, not allowing others to cut in front or crowd. After we paid for the x- ray we went upstairs, got the x-ray film, and waited to get x-rayed. Because we were foreigners, the doctor wanted to put Tariqa first, but I told him that another lady had been waiting before us, so please x-ray her first. He did. A young man then arrived and tried to push his x-ray through the door to the doctor, but the doctor said something to him. Stymied, the man stopped and placed his x-ray at the bottom of the pile. After the x-ray was taken, we waited to have the x-ray developed. We received a paper copy of the x-ray, headed back downstairs to the next building, and then up again to see the doctor. The doctor looked at the copy and stated that he couldn't tell if the arm was better; the copy was poor and he needed to see the actual x-ray. Again down, across the courtyard, up, wait in the crush, ask for the x-ray, down, up to the doctor. The doctor was not there. He is on the ward, someone said, down that way. I could go and see if he was finished with a patient. We found the doctor, waited until he was done, then returned with him to the office. The doctor looked at the x-ray, only to find that I had been given the old x-rays from two weeks before, instead of the new one. By this time we were running out of time and I was approaching boiling point. It is one thing to have to wait because people are busy, but incompetence is entirely something else in my book. I asked the doctor to wait and told him I would be right back. I launched myself down the 3 flights of stairs, across the courtyard, back up the three flights and back into line. This time the woman gave me the remaining two x-rays, which I examined closely before choosing the right one and leaving. I thanked her and headed back down and up to the doctor's office. He looked at the x-rays and nodded. Yes, her arm was OK. She was still a little weak, so she would have to be careful, but was healing well. Thank you, you are finished here, but remember to return the x-rays before you leave... One last time down the stairs, up the other side, return the x-rays, back down and out of the hospital. It took 2 hours to get one x-ray and we climbed 33 flights of stairs. Everyone had to have their own turn at supremacy; no one was willing to give face to another. Everyone wanted to be first, no matter how long anyone else had been waiting. It was so frustrating and unnecessary and inefficient.
This is a common occurrence anytime you find Chinese people together. For example, when waiting to get on the bus or trying to get off, you feel you are in the middle of a battle. Signs on the bus clearly state that people getting on should wait until everyone has gotten off, but if anything, this only raises the stakes of the contest. The boarders refuse to let the people get off first, because then they might be delayed and not get a seat. Often there are so many people already on the bus that no one else can squeeze in. It doesn't matter; they push their way on anyway. They pretend to be oblivious to the harm they do. If you mention this to students or others they acknowledge that they know they should wait and should help others and be considerate. If you remind them of good behavior by offering your seat to someone, others are often willing to follow your example. Tim's solution to the getting-off-the-bus problem is to put his finger into the chest of the first person trying to barge on and push gently while saying "deng yi xia (wait a moment)." He holds the high ground and refuses to move until the people below make way.
Many stores have bag-check stations. When leaving or picking up your bags, you are enveloped in a crush of pushing, shoving, elbowing, wiggling, shouting, clamoring, clambering, arm-waving people, each trying to get served first. There is absolutely no consideration shown. If, however, I make a gracious motion to allow someone to go before me, that person usually will demur, and sometimes others will begin to act politely, too, at least as long as I'm standing there. If the people are shown a good example, they usually respond. They simply need someone to stand up and remind them, like children who need a parent's prodding or a teacher's watchful eye to make them follow the rules. In public, however, no one makes an effort to fill that role. Today, Chinese society seems incapable of providing a strong foundation for the growth of moral values.
I look at the obvious problems of China-the trash everywhere, the poor quality of work, the inconsideration of others, people taking more than they need because they are there first, the beggars on the street-and I think it all is due to the lack of caring for others, seeing them as something you have to compete with, rather than someone you work with to solve your problems. If the World Trade Center had been sitting in China when the planes hit, no one would have escaped the building. They all would have trampled each other. Few, or perhaps none, would have rushed into the building to help.
A friend of ours told me that in the past 20 years China has become worse rather than better. I asked him why he felt that way and he answered that, twenty years ago, youth would have willingly lent a hand to an old man pulling a cart or offered to carry an old woman's groceries for her. With the rampant materialism that has accompanied China's rapid development, people today are only concerned with what they can get. They have lost their concern for others and think only of themselves. They have no spirit left in them, he says. That's the bad news...
I think the good news is that the spirit hasn't actually left them; it is just that they are unaware that they have it. Once they realize that they do have a spirit, something that makes them fundamentally different from the animals, they begin to change. It's a subtle difference, but it has a cumulative effect on behavior. Also, many of the younger generation, who have been raised without awareness of their spirituality, know that they are missing something and are actively searching to fill the hole they feel inside. These young people are China's and the world's hope. These are the people who ultimately will find the solution to China's problems, who will make their voices heard and awaken their friends and fellow beings. I am hopeful for the future of China, because they are so pure in their hearts and their spirits are so strong. They know what it feels like to be empty, and they don't want to feel that way anymore. More power to them. Some day there will be enough of them to demonstrate the power of unity, and all the world will benefit from their knowledge and actions.
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